flaneuse.org

It’s that time of the year again for my Fall fashion update; my completely uninformed thoughts about the fashions of the season, as seen from my position as a professor on a campus in Northern NJ (with a quick note about what Iceland is doing this fashion season).

First, the bad news. There are certain things that need to stop happening. Soon. In no particular order, they are:

Leggings are not pants. Not really, unless they are really thick in which case they aren’t leggings any more, they are jeans or some other kind of pants. So you need to COVER YOUR ASS. Please. Wear a dress, a skirt, shorts (not the best option), or something but please, don’t just wear leggings. And look carefully because leggings are still thicker than tights and more than once recently I’ve seen girls on campus wearing tights and a shirt and there are things apparent that should not be seen in broad daylight. Unless you are Kate Moss or a photoshopped Ralph Lauren model, neither leggings or tights should be worn without your butt covered. Simple. Right?

Now, UGGs. Aren’t we done with this yet? They’re beginning to look pretty scruffy, girls. They smell bad in the classroom after the rain, and they sound terrible when you scuff them down the pavement. They’re slippers. You know that, right? They’re not actual shoes. This is a great season for boots and I’ve seen some beautiful ones. For the amount of money you’re sinking into after ski slippers, get a great pair of riding boots that won’t reek like a wet Labrador after a shower. Again, I’m begging you.

The enormous purse. My classes are overenrolled this semester and as I go from one end of the room to another, working with groups and answering questions, I keep tripping over your bags. Yes, some of them are gorgeous. Most of them are incredibly expensive. But they’re freakin’ huge, and you really don’t need a bag that big pulling one side of your body to your ankle. Then you’ll end up taking the osteoporosis pills that Sally Fields is shilling because your posture is so screwed up. Think proportion. I like big bags but the thing is that they take up space, you tend to fill them, and they get to be complex and ridiculous. Think simple.

And as for the fashions in Iceland. All 80s — skinny jeans and ties for the guys, Madonna lace and huge glasses and stripes in hair for girls. Kids wearing trends they weren’t alive to see — cracked Chris and I up. New Wave is back, folks, and it is heading this way. Get ready (again).

This entry was posted on Friday, November 6th, 2009 at 5:53 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.