hi! remember me?
I was just reading the NYT online and they have a new mac and pc ad and I love those — you should check it out — but what was interesting was that pieces of the ad are located in different spots on the front page. Of the New York Times. Which looks like it even changed their heading to fit the ad — so all things must be for sale at the right price. Even the paper once known (still known to some I would imagine) as the old gray lady.
My semester is far from over, but I have come to that point where you reflect on it — even as I finish grading and Chris and I pack for a New Year’s Eve and day move. This was not one of my better semesters — even when you compare it against the semester I was collecting data from my dissertation and had just separated from my now ex-husband. It all comes down to one simple thing — the bedrock by which you build your life. I love to teach and do research; I like to be busy; I like juggling all my professional requirements and still finding time to spend with Chris and Willa and Naima, and I put a lot of value in the time I can spend with family and friends. But you have to have a bedrock to build all those things on and after the very first weeks in the semester, I didn’t have it. I got very sick and that just wipes the slate clean, doesn’t it? I am so impressed with the student I had this semester who delivered a baby and still finished out the course. I couldn’t do it — for more than a week, I couldn’t even really leave the house.
Thank God for the internet and for understanding students, who were willing to be forgiving as I am still building that bedrock up, stone by stone. I’ve heard said that everyone has a bad semester on their way to tenure and I knock wood that this one was mine. It could have been a lot worse, and all in all, I saw many of my students reach new heights and win some real triumphs. I am behind on my writing, the conference wasn’t great, and sometimes I get discouraged, but then I have the students who really care — and there are many more of them than not — and they keep coming, showing up, willing to learn and excited about teaching.
I guess I realized about myself that I need to be at a place that values and requires teaching, because it’s anything I can do to teach better, learn more, and contribute research that makes a difference in their lives that gets me up in the morning. God help me if I had been an accountant (no offense to the many family and friends I have who are) and I might not have left my pajamas for the rest of the semester : )
I was lucky and blessed. I got the right doctors and a new path. The migraines are much improved, and I had all but given up hope that would ever be the case. Maybe now the bedrock is even better and more solid. 2008, here I come!