09th Oct 2007
sex and books
*warning: if you are one of my students, you may not want to read this post. remember, i use my blog for writing in a general sense, not just for class and other academic pursuits. no, i’m not going to get all graphic about my sex life — i like my job — but i am going to talk about sex here. and books. consider yourself warned*
Just in case you never thought about it before, books are sexy. Not only do some books contain a lot of sex (think Lady Chatterley’s Lover as much as the Girl’s Guide to Getting It On), but just reading is sexy. See, being bright and using your brain has a lot of sex appeal to many humans. When I worked at the Boulder Book Store, many people met and chatted among the shelves and more than one couple came back to tell us where it all began, in literature or science fiction or even the section on the paranormal. Actually, in some ways working there was like working in a club or a dating service. We were all just into our twenties, in excellent physical shape from running and hiking and excessive amounts of yoga, with the ability to drink like fish and survive on very little sleep. Most of the clerks on the floor were women — the owner had a preference for blondes, especially those with a bobbing ponytail and lean legs — and the guys worked in shipping and receiving in the back. Couples were created and destroyed almost daily, although I got a husband out of the deal (now my ex).
As a girl working the front counter, barely 21, I got lots more offers than I ever did when modeling (very small time newspaper ads in my hometown), selling clothes, or anything else. The only other place I got hit on as much was working at the University library. I have come to believe that men are drawn to women who have something to talk about besides themselves, and while pop culture is an important part of life, understanding some of the ideas behind it all is even more alluring. Years later, single and dating in New York City, I could easily eliminate half of the guys who responded to my match.com ad (a really bad idea and a story for another time), just based on the books they knew and the ones they didn’t. The ones who didn’t read were the same ones who freaked out to know that I had a doctorate. The ones I fell hard for? Readers, did graduate work in literature, didn’t act like pompous assholes but knew a thing or two.
You put together a man with a good vocabulary with one that can handle tools and you have my heart. Just true, is all. At some point, you have to have a conversation with that person you dragged home, or stalked online and if they don’t read? The conversation isn’t going to go too many places, in my experience. And it’s the conversations in those first heady days of falling in love that you remember, that sustain you through the tough times.
Wow-John and I just had a conversation about this last night. We were saying how many people seem “boring.” We attribute this “boring people” phenomenon to the fact that many people nowadays do not read… It’s not that we’re this adventurous couple that goes bungee jumping, skiing in the Alps, etc…but we read…and as readers, we have lots of fodder for intelligent conversation and we can string together words well. John was saying how when he talks with co-workers, the conversation is mainly a repeating of lines heard on TV shows… so many people seem to be reading less. Also, I firmly believe that those who read can speak better and create more engaging conversations. Readers rock!
PS That’s awesome that you did some modeling. Although, I don’t consider myself into girl stuff like modeling, makeup, etc…I have this odd fascination with supermodels… I know far too many of their names and bios… just a tidbit.
Hi Dr. Dana,
So, I am just dropping by. I hope that you feel better and be as new for us next class lol. I think you are kind of right that “books are sexy” because they are. Most of the m. Ok see you next week. Have a fabolous weekend