11th Sep 2006
anniversaries
It’s spooky, how today is just as blue-sky clear as it was five years ago, when the towers collapsed. Chris and I were just talking about it, since he was 12 blocks away when it happened and watched, and then evacuated as the situation grew more and more dire. In the weeks afterward, he lost his job, became engaged and changed his entire life around. Now, five years later, so much is different for both of us. As I write this, I can hear the bells tolling, commemorating the time of the second plane crashing into the buildings.
For me, literally everything is different. I live not in Tennessee, nor even in New York, but New Jersey. I am no longer married — a change that shifts almost everything about your life. I have finished my doctorate and work now at a job I love as an assistant professor, but I have learned not to believe that anything can be forever. Some days are tougher than others, but I am so glad just to wake up on most of them (not counting the ones where I want to roll over and sleep longer).
For the rest of today, 9/11 will be everywhere and I know that. We’re so close here, and I’m sure everyone in the city is hearing and seeing even more. Perhaps some of my students lost family or friends in the tower — this county in New Jersey was one of the hardest hit in terms of losses, I’ve been told. There’s a commemorative park at the top of the hill near us, with a clear view of the Manhattan skyline and a distinct sense of how it has changed. On this day five years ago, I struggled to still teach my class (Vanderbilt decided not to cancel classes) while seeing nothing but the images from the television burned into my mind. It would take until late that night before we knew everyone in the family who lived in the city was home safe, and another few days until all friends were accounted for. I know we were lucky. Today is a day to be there for those who weren’t.
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