edgar lou
Sometimes life just plain throws you. I got home from teaching last night and settled in to read blogs, sitting on the rug in front of the futon, where sweet Ed was sleeping when he went into a seizure. An hour later, it was all over and 16-year-old Edgar the-one-eyed dog, whom I christened “Edgar Lou” and sang to when I first met him, is gone. Asleep and no more sweet smiling face, even though we had to carry him up the stairs and always gave him a Beggin Strip when he remembered to pee outside. He was Chris’ best friend for 16 years, “a gift” as the vet last night so truthfully put it. I don’t know what is harder — not seeing Ed on the futon waiting for me to watch crap tv with him, or the hollow in Chris’ eyes.
Ed was selfless and good and all the things a dog is that we never manage to be. Even in pain, he watched everyone and everything at the vet, getting and giving petting and love and still smiling in his wide open grin. I can’t post a picture right now — it’s honestly too much, but I will soon. The cats miss him; Naima doesn’t know who to bully and Spenser misses his happy grandfatherly Edgar couch buddy. They both wander around the house looking for the center, the soul. Something as simple as a dog who keeps us all together. He was like you would light a candle and find our way, leading us to a place where we could be better than ourselves.
Good night, sweet Edgar. May flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.
July 25th, 2006 at 3:53 pm
I’m sorry about your loss. I won’t offer any conciliatory or wise words because I don’t have any and none would suffice anyway right now. Time will help but now you need to mourn. I hope the path will be a short one and at its end you will be sustained by fond memories and smile.
July 25th, 2006 at 5:32 pm
I’m so sorry. It hurts. I still miss my Amber (and it’s been two years). You’re right about dogs - they show us what we could be. And who else dances for us when we get home?
July 26th, 2006 at 2:57 am
Dear Dr. C,
Amen. Profuse, profuse sympathies. Beautiful imagery you used to honor Edgar: “He was like you would light a candle and find our way, leading us to a place where we could be better than ourselves.”
. …Our dog died June 25, 1991. Realized just a few days ago that for the first time in fifteen years, June 25th got by me without remembering the anniversary. Still cry whenever I think of her. A gorgeous miniature collie. Brought us joy for over fourteen years; died of seizures. Whenever I read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, I think of her, and now you’ve given the summative words: “leading us to a place where we could be better than ourselves.”
Sometime in the future when you’re not so numb and the pain isn’t so intense, we can swap stories of what that line means.
By the way, our dog’s name? You read it all the time on my blog. TiffanyT.
Some naysayers think that heaven’s not for pets. Not in my book. Heaven is filled with goodness. Edgar & Tiffany romp there.
Peace.
July 26th, 2006 at 2:59 pm
I was so sorry to hear about your loss. Know that my thoughts are with you at this time.
July 26th, 2006 at 3:33 pm
Sorry to hear about Edgar. I understand the pain and the emptiness. Last night my rotweiler was diagnosed with bone cancer.
July 26th, 2006 at 5:39 pm
I am sorry about Edgar. I understand how painful it is to lose a family pet. They are such a big part of our lives. I will always remember my dogs and cats. They are part of my history and will never be forgotten. Edgar was blessed to be loved and be part of your family.
July 26th, 2006 at 6:14 pm
I am so sorry about Edgar. I completely understand how it feels to lose a family pet. My dogs and cats will always hold a very special place in my heart. Edgar was lucky to have been so loved.
July 26th, 2006 at 6:17 pm
I just yelled at our dog Toby for always being under my feet. It seems that he follows me around all day long! Now I feel really terrible and will probably give him a treat.
I feel very sad for you and Chris. We do become extremely attached to our pets and don’t realize how important they are to us.
with sympathy, Maureen
July 27th, 2006 at 3:21 pm
Dr. C & Chris,
So very sorry, more so that my own frantic day prevented me from even seeing this post.
We too lost a beloved dog at age 16. It, too was a gift as larger dogs, Joey was a Bide A Wee rescued doberman, don’t usually live such long lives. Perhaps he was having such a good time he just chose to hang out. At any rate, we benefitted from his loyalty and unconditional love.
We have held on to his ashes, thinking of them as a sort of good spirit that hovers over our household, only a fellow dog lover would understand.
Good memories will push the sadness aside and stay with you always.