17th Jul 2006
still, hot
These are the days I think I hate the most, that feel like an unending Wednesday afternoon in the back of Algebra class with Mrs. Heming, the teacher I got along oh so well with that I got to take her twice (yes, there’s a story there and no, I’m not telling it).
We saw Strangers with Candy this weekend first because we’re fans and second because there was air conditioning. It was hilarious, but the ongoing focus with all things adolescent has given me really weird dreams lately. I keep dreaming I’m back in high school — and there ain’t nothing good about going back and trying again. Only Amy Sedaris can make that worth watching, let alone participating in. We also watched Donnie Darko for a very different take on high school. (That site is worth seeing, as is the movie if you have a dark turn of mind and a taste for Echo and the Bunnymen. You know who you are if you do.)
All of these things, plus my reading have made me realize that high school haunts us in oh so many ways. Even as adults, there are vestiges of our high school selves that still cling to us. You know what I mean — you can tell, or at least you think you can, who was the prom queen and who was the class nerd. Do we ever get over and past all those slights and deep wounds? That’s what made Strangers with Candy so funny, and why I watched at least part of it through my hands, cringing. The things that happen to us as we form who we are, try on who we want to be — it wasn’t a great time for me, or for anyone I knew really and somehow I keep finding my way back to working with teens.
There’s something about that time, that sense — I’m not trying to do over but to learn and see and understand. It can be better for other women, other girls. It will be as we talk to girls and understand this complex web of actions and fears and dreams better.
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